This one’s for all my fellow 20-somethings (and myself).
Nature is trying with all its might to make us reproduce. And that’s a good thing. Without it, we wouldn’t take nearly enough chances in love to be happy.
But that energy also needs to meet up with wisdom somewhere along the way, or we’re very likely to end up with unplanned pregnancy or partners who will make us miserable.
Here’s a question that occurs to me: what exactly am I trying to reproduce?
Given my current condition, do I really want to bring a copy of me (and whatever partner I might find in my condition) into the world?
This is a variant of the “don’t just look for the right person – become a better person” argument, but I’ve found it especially helpful for centering myself when I’ve gotten impatient about finding a good partner.
I can answer “yes” to that question when I’m taking care of myself, pushing my limits, and managing my responsibilities. So naturally any pursuit of a partner shouldn’t come into conflict with those goals. When any dating goal causes me to default on any of those personal goals, it’s really worthwhile to ask “what’s the point?”
Put another way, living a life/personality/character worth reproducing always takes precedence over the babymaking act itself.