We Need An Automated Bot for Worthless Online Debates

Human beings have the precious, irreplaceable gifts of life, consciousness, rationality, and creativity.

We are ungrateful little bastards, too.

We have gotten very good at wasting our best gifts on petty social media debates about whether Donald Trump is Hitler, whether Bruno Mars is a cultural appropriator, whether Star Wars: The Last Jedi was a good movie, and whether

I’ve seen enough to know that endless (and pathetically petty) social media wars not going away. But it would be a really nice thing to get a word in edgewise.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t want to share *my* opinion in these little internet disputes. I just want to broadcast to the people involved that these fights are neither necessary nor all that helpful.

That’s why need a social media bot that posts a link to this video on every worthless controversy.


There’s nothing like a little Carl Sagan to give you some perspective on the silliness of most of these conflicts. Astronomy could be the death of petty social media wars.

And imagine if every time someone got into a silly online controversy, you got slammed with this:

“The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.”

This would make a great weekend project for someone. Have at it. If you don’t (and if I keep seeing silly controversies) I might just make it myself.

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

James Walpole

James Walpole is a writer, startup marketer, and perpetual apprentice. You're reading his blog right now, and he really appreciates it. Don't let it go to his head, though.

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