No One Cares About You, Yellow Lights

Let’s be honest, yellow lights: no one really cares about you.

If an alien came to our planet and observed you, he would think your yellow light meant “DRIVE FASTER! CROSS THAT INTERSECTION NOW! SCREW PEDESTRIANS!”

You’re like the mom of ten year-old boys on a snow day:

MOTHER: “Now boys, I want you to wrap up extra warm today!”

KID: “OK, sure thing, Patricia.” *takes off remaining winter clothing and rolls around in icy mush* 

Similarly, drivers seem to actively be trying to piss you off.

DRIVERS: “Hey, look! A yellow light. I guess I’d better prepare to stop.” *Winks at traffic camera, speeds up, runs over a bunch of toddlers (hey, the toddlers are toddler cats. It’s OK)* 

YELLOW LIGHTS: “Yooooooouuu guuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyssssssssss!”

Now the DMV would probably tell us that all licensed drivers receive thorough training and testing in how to respond to your traffic signals.

But if our alien observer reported back to his superiors on our actual traffic behaviors, he could be forgiven for making the same recommendation I have:

They should change your name to “YOLO lights.”




James Walpole

James Walpole is a writer, startup marketer, and perpetual apprentice. You're reading his blog right now, and he really appreciates it. Don't let it go to his head, though.

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